Tired Mom's Husband Suspiciously Asks Her to Leave the Living Room So He Can Be Alone, Sparking Uncertainty About His Late-Night Activities

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Aug 11, 2024 9:00 PM EDT

"The entire situation just made me feel [terrible], and I got pretty upset. He started laughing because he said it wasn't a big deal and I should just give him his space."

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  • When you're a mom, grueling late night schedules take precedent over your own needs. That's the trade-off when you want little mini-mes that share your hair and your partner's eyes. Unfortunately, we see stories all the time about super-moms' efforts going unnoticed or belittled. What is it about mothers going above and beyond for their kids and their families and people thinking that these actions aren't things to be applauded or recognized? 

    The mom in this story is dealing with exhaustion as a result of being at a party with her children (2 y/o and 5 mo.) in high temperatures outside. Her husband stayed home, tending to the house and carrying out other errands. She usually stays home while he takes the kids, but this day was particularly exhausting to her. She wanted to sit on the couch and rest so she's closer in proximity to her baby who cries when they sense she is far away, and she just wanted some peace and quiet before a night of 12-minute sleep intervals and piercing cries. Her husband proceeds to repeatedly ask her to leave the living room so he can play video games and be alone, but she questions his reasoning as he's been home all day. Why can't she be with her husband and watch him while relaxing on their large sectional? Others in the comments are skeptical of his real reasoning for this ‘alone time’ and are telling her something bigger might possibly be at play. Read ahead to get the details and we ask: what do you think is going on here?

  • 01
    AIO I got upset that my husband told me to go to bed so he could have the house to himself?
    via TiredMomThrowRA
  • 02
    My husband and I put the kids to bed and then sat on the couch watching an episode of our show. I was starting to fall asleep towards the end because I had the kids (2 yr and 5 mo) all day by myself at a bday party in 104 degree heat. My husband stayed home and did chores that he hadn't had a chance to get to.
    via TiredMomThrowRA
  • 03
    Usually I would be the one staying behind to do things around the house, so I know that while doing the chores is hard, it's also kind of a break from childcare. And my husband never fails to remind me of that after he's "given me a break" to clean the house.
    via TiredMomThrowRA
  • 04
    It was 11 pm and the baby has been waking up as soon as I come to bed lately. I was so tired I just wanted to stay out on the couch for a while, but my husband got up and abruptly said "Ok! Time for you to go to bed!" And left the room for a moment. I just stayed lying down, and he
    via TiredMomThrowRA
  • 05
    came back into the room and said "please, I'm going to game." I told him I was tired and I'd just sleep out there until the baby woke up so that I didn't already have to deal with a wake up and potential feeding. He said "please, I'm asking very nicely. Please leave the room so I can have some time to myself."
    via TiredMomThrowRA
  • 06
    I had nowhere else to go and we had previously been sharing the space perfectly fine. It wasn't his man cave or anything...it was our living room. I asked him why I couldn't just sleep there for a bit, that he wouldn't disturb me (he wanted to play the college football game he's been obsessed with since it came out, with headphones on so it wasn't even a concern for disturbing me).
    via TiredMomThrowRA
  • 07
    He just repeated that he had asked me very nicely, and he wanted the couch to himself (the huge sectional that we can both lay on and not even touch each other). I just got up at this point, visibly irritated that I was being kicked out of my own living room so that my husband could have the entire space to himself. I told
    via TiredMomThrowRA
  • 08
    him how I felt but he had already sat down with his headset on (on the floor, btw, not even on the couch) and told me that he had worked around the house all day and he deserved his time alone now. He had been alone all day because we were out of the house.
    via TiredMomThrowRA
  • 09
    The entire situation just made me feel like , and I got pretty upset. He started laughing because he said it wasn't a big deal and I should just give him his space. So am I overreacting to this?
    via TiredMomThrowRA
  • 10
    EDITED TO ADD: A lot of people are asking why I didn't just go to bed, and I realized I wasn't clear about that in my post. The baby wakes up almost immediately after I go to bed, it doesn't matter the time. It's like she senses me. If I don't go in the room, she'll sleep until 2 am. So I wanted to stay on the couch, because I knew I could get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep that way. I told him this, but he didn't care and still wanted me to go to bed to give him time alone
    via TiredMomThrowRA
  • 11
    Terrible-Roll-2880 15 hr. ago As a man, Husband and gamer, I've read some up relationship stories on reddit. This one is just bizarre...unless he's planning on doing something he didn't want you to see there doesn't sound like there was any reason whatsoever he couldn't have played his game quietly with his wife passed out on the couch. Like let the woman sleep where she wants lol
    via Terrible-Roll-2880
  • 12
    Spinnerofyarn 14 hr. ago NOR. If he was asking nicely, he would have accepted it when you declined. Him saying, "I'm asking very nicely," implies a bunch of things: 1. He doesn't have to ask politely 2. He doesn't have to accept your answer (and he didnt!) 3. You have to do what he says 4. He could be I about it and that's fine (and he was !) 5. You didn't deserve to have some down time yourself since going to bed would wake the baby 6. He couldn't play while you were in the room (he could!)
    via Spinnerofyarn
  • 13
    You worked just as hard as he did today. If he wanted alone time, he could go somewhere else. It's no big deal to move a gaming console to another room. The way you mention him having a man-cave, I assume he can game in there. Even if he can't, waa, poor baby can't play alone in the room the way he wants. He sounds entitled as
    via Spinnerofyarn
  • 14
    If you were asleep, why couldn't he play since he was wearing headphones? It's not like you were going to try and talk to him while he was playing, it's not like he couldn't hear his game. It's not like you had a problem with him gaming while you were there. It makes me think that he wanted to voice chat with people or a specific someone with
    via Spinnerofyarn
  • 15
    you not around are right. He wanted to do something he knew you wouldn't like. That may not be the case, but that sure is what he's making it look like. The next time he wants alone time, he can do it in a part of the house that isn't a common area, he can go to the bedroom, though he can't bar you from it if it's your bedroom, or he can leave the house if he hasn't made arrangements, mutually agreed upon arrangements, where you leave the house. He's acting entitled, and suspicious.
    via Spinnerofyarn
  • 16
    • LysVonStrauda · 14 hr. ago I don't think it's right that one of the only breaks you get from childcare is when you're cleaning the house. You have as much of right to the living room as he does.
    via LysVonStrauda
  • 17
    Yiayiamary 13 hr. ago Well, I need alone time too. My husband is retired and always home. However, I don't see why your husband needs you to be in bed for him to game.
    via Yiayiamary
  • 18
    Chilled Chocolate 14 hr. ago Wow. What a gem of a guy. At that point I would have got in the car to go for a drive for some "alone time." Let him deal with the baby who's about to wake up.
    via ChilledChocolate
  • 19
    weeble_lowe 15 hr. ago Next time, unplug the Wi-Fi.
    via weeble_lowe
  • 20
    JediSailor 13 hr. ago ΝΤΑ But what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Do the same to him. Make sure you use his exact words back to him.
    via JediSailor
  • 21
    Accurate_Grade_2645 11 hr. ago Yeppp. "I'm asking very nicely" in that lowkey threatening tone he probably used towards you, OP. Someone commented various reasons why this statement is a massive red flag, boys in the comments are like "he said he was asking nicely" like no dude, this statement has several different implications. But they're too smooth- brained to read between the lines.
    via Accurate_Grade_2645
  • 22
    Painter_girly_ 13 hr. ago Not overreacting. I would have "gone to bed" and locked the door, mans can sleep on the couch he had to have for himself
    via Painter_girly_
  • 23
    autumnmystique555 12 hr. ago Question: when do YOU get the space you deserve? I'd tell my husband that I'm not going anywhere if he dated to like that. pull some
    via autumnmystique555

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